Updated: Aug 23, 2021
Having just been married, and after attending the wedding of our dear friends this month, i'm inspired to write about LOVE in this months blog
Not romantic love or the love we have for our family and friends but SELF LOVE because thats where true love starts!!
It is said we can never truly love another until we love ourselves....
Self love is key to having real love in our lives... it is something I learnt when I was going through a tough time between the ages of 28 to 33, I was just out of my 1st marriage, going through a few extremely disappointing relationships since the break up, I was being hard on myself and my inner voice was so critical of everything I did or said and surprise, surprise, they were the same words coming from the people I was dating at the time! My self worth was at an all time low! Self love was non existent and there was no way I could fathom ever falling in love again... That low vibrational energy was present in all of my relationships and there was no denying I was attracting those full of self loathing... because thats what I was thinking and feeling about myself... raw but true!
I worked with a few energetically aware holistic councillors and therapists with whom I shared some of these self beliefs and the advice I was given changed my life.... They said, Danielle, you are so compassionate towards your friends and clients, you are never afraid to share the positive things you see in them.... next time your inner child starts to berate herself, consider her YOUR OWN child....what would you say to her if she was telling you what she thought of herself? You would probably hug her and tell her how amazing she is and how she is none of the things she thinks she is and you would tell her all the gifts you see in her.... she probably won't believe you at first but eventually she will and you will have reprogrammed your self belief! My thoughts were "it sounds so easy" "bet it's not!!" but I resigned myself to try and began writing affirmations on the bathroom mirror, every morning I would have a mantra, you are enough, you are worthy, you are love etc etc, while I was doing my daily run, I would recant my mantras over and over again, in my downtime, I would be imagining what it felt like to be adored and honoured and would breath it into myself like I already had it, imagining it permeating every atom... my meditations all started with filling myself with unconditional love and gratitude (and still do) and so began my journey of self love, being more gentle with myself, honouring myself and the mistakes (lessons) I may have made and allowing my humanness! Everything started to change! Instead of my quiet moments being filled with negative self talk, I retrained myself with my self love mantras and dated myself!
I feel this was a little easier for me knowing about the Law of Attraction, this law is based on energy science and is no way, a new age concept. This is why we attract what we fear, our thoughts and beliefs trigger a chemical reaction in the brain sending it through our bodies, it permeates our cells and then radiates out into our energy field, acting as a magnet! Even what we are thinking and believing subconsciously, this is where the concept of "Mindfulness" originated! Being mindful of the power of our thoughts, feelings and beliefs. We may think it is safely hidden and contained in our minds but it is constantly being illuminated through the energy field around and within us, it will attract and repel without us even saying a word, it will give us all we need to learn, even if we are the best actors in the world, there is no hiding from energy. We can all feel it, and these days we are refining even the most subtle energy shifts, we are becoming more sensitive as humanity revisits the "Golden age"
This is why SELF LOVE is mandatory to attract the love you are capable of giving, it must be felt by others!
If we can at least try to get a grip on the programmed belief systems we are working with, we have a greater chance of changing our reality. As children, we are pretty much programmed by the time we are 7 yrs old, that is how we view ourselves, it takes years to re programme those beliefs but it can be done... new neuro pathways can be formed in the brain, just like taking a different way to school everyday.. if we take the same path, it leads to the same place... the key is to change the pathway eventually you forget the old one and new beliefs and programmes will be the norm....
We are raised in a world where for most, (esp my gen and previous generations) your best is never good enough and more is always expected of us...this can happen in our upbringing or at school or in our workplace, it can be debilitating for some and I hear these stories all the time! This sets up a programme to work harder, earn more, be more, do more....placing conditions on ourselves for others to see, love, honour and respect us... Thinking that love, honour and respect need to be earned rather than a given amongst humanity. If we honour and respect those who cross our path it has a flow on effect... more down the line will receive the same treatment rather than projecting our fears and negative emotions and beliefs which are also then passed on down the line.... what would you like your ripple effect to be?
Understanding how to love ourselves changes our energy, we radiate a softness, a gentleness that others are immediately attracted to... they are less hard on us and feel good about themselves when they are around us. Eventually we attract loving beings into our lives, those who are capable of giving us what we are capable of giving, this creates an equal exchange in our relationships!
It is my wish for humanity to realise SELF LOVE
only then, can true love find its way!
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