YOU ARE ALLOWED....

You are allowed....

I’m inspired to write this piece because I’m witnessing, over and over again, how difficult it can be to allow uncomfortable emotions in ourselves and each other. It has also invited me to review my own limitations and programmed beliefs around emotions

We are human. We are allowed to feel these uncomfortable emotions and to release them if something occurs that brings them to the surface... they exist!

Instead, they grab us and hold us in stasis! We fear we may be perceived as having issues or not fun to be around and all the other crazy thoughts that go through our minds when we are in a negative state... (this is called processing, which is also normal!)

Why can we not allow ourselves to be angry, sad or lonely, why can we not express our vulnerability and feel safe knowing that every person on the planet has the same emotions going through them at some stage of their life or, for some, possibly every day!

I live in a place called Byron Bay where all appears to be shiny and perfect but we all know that is an illusion! The general perception is if you get angry, you have anger issues, if you are sad you need to take responsibility for your own mirror or do more yoga, meditation, change your diet or exercise more, if you are lonely you would never tell a soul lest they oust you completely!

This new age era is teaching people to spiritually bypass anything negative when our human emotions haven't actually evolved past negativity yet!

There is shadow and light! Do not deny your human experience, do not spiritually bypass your pain! Find new tools and do the work with those who have the skills to assist you!!

We are all more than ok with smiling and being happy or excited or in any other positive emotion and we all know VERY WELL that both exist but continue to be paralysed with guilt and fear that we feel the negative ones! I see this in so many of us, it leads us to suppress and put on a brave face when we are in pain.. When we continually suppress difficult emotions rather than finding safe ways to acknowledge and work with them, it can take a toll on our emotional wellbeing.

Sometimes what people need most is to feel safe enough to speak, to be heard without judgement and, where needed, to receive appropriate professional support.

What if people felt safe enough to share, what if someone listened to them and supported them when the trauma occurred, what if humanity had compassion for negative emotions and empathy for those in need!

This is a time on earth that Mental health is becoming a major issue and has touched everyones lives in some way, not to mention the craziness happening with lack of psychological support, over medication and lack of facilities. Professional mental-health support has an essential place, but so does community. We can also learn practical skills — Mental Health First Aid, how to listen without immediately trying to fix, how to hold compassionate space, how to recognise our own boundaries and when to encourage someone to seek further support.

Just like when a major disaster happens and the community jumps to action and helps, this too should be the norm when it comes to helping others through their negative emotions, many people are struggling, we all know people who are struggling, start there!

Why has discomfort become something we immediately want to fix or move away from? Sometimes another person doesn’t need us to have the answer. They need our presence, our ears, our compassion and our willingness to stay.

I feel sad for humanity that we cannot allow basic human emotions to run through us and to support each other through them when we witness them in our friends and family or even someone we don't know that well. Are we all so terrified that we will catch someone else’s discomfort? Or that the person in that state is un-evolved or hasn't woken up yet!?

I hold space for people all day to bare their souls, cry, express their emotions and never feel I take it home. I have practices and boundaries that help me remain grounded in myself while still allowing empathy and compassion, I love that I can do this....but when I am in my shadow state, I really have very few who can hold that space for me...these are skills I wish more of us were taught "even in spiritual Byron Bay" People, simply, do not know how!

We need each other. These are difficult times and not everyone is coping.

Being genuinely heard can soften the isolation around pain and make it easier to find the next step.

Hold space for those in need, particularly the ones who don't express it often!

Its not that hard!!

Experiencing difficult emotions does not mean there is something wrong with you. They are part of being human. You are allowed to feel any negative emotion when a situation has led you to them, if you are worried about something or have generally had a hard time! Suppressing, hiding and/or smiling through it is not authentic and is not going to help you! They may be telling us that something needs our attention.

Something needs to be worked through or addressed, this is the path to happiness, not to mention, the great feeling that somebody actually cares, can work wonders for those experiencing heavy feelings! Continually pushing emotions away can make it harder to understand what we need. Safe expression, reflection, support and appropriate therapeutic care can all have a place.

On the other side of allowing these difficult emotions to be witnessed in a loving, compassionate environment, we may discover a deeper gentleness, faith and love within ourselves. How we find our way there becomes part of our own personal path towards greater peace. Sometimes the first step is simply giving ourselves permission to feel.

Our seasonal bodies also tell us when it is time to release these energies, In Traditional Chinese Medicine, Autumn is associated with the Lung and Large Intestine meridians and themes of grief, letting go and release.

Our bodies are giving us permission to acknowledge these emotions within us!

It can be a beautiful time for acupuncture, Ki Yoga, walking in nature, breathwork, singing, chanting, movement or simply giving yourself space to feel and express what is present.

You are human and you are allowed!