Discernment Vs Judgement
Updated: Sep 6
Stepping into 2018 was not what I expected. While much of the world was in celebration and some were in ceremony, my experience of that New Year was judgement — certainly not the first thing I expected to feel when the clock struck midnight!
As always, when something is obviously presenting, (as it did immediately this year)....I accepted that it is something to work with.... to explore, dig deep into and to grow from. This life is about expanding past our icky moments, to shine the light on our shadows and to grow from them into a greater understanding of acceptance of ourselves and all around us... I have known that for a while... it is liberating to be able to accept the uncomfortable stuff, not react and expand past it into a greater understanding of ourselves and our community.
But Judgement!!! Arrgggg it's definitely an icky one...
It is present in all of us, even the most evolved souls do it, but what is its purpose and are we getting it all wrong when we are in judgement?
Humans are such fickle creatures... we are so quick to pass judgement. It is almost as repellent as passing wind!! Everyone seems to scatter at a million miles an hour when judgement is in the house!
It seems inherently within us, to witness something then form an opinion - but do we ever ask what is that opinion based on? Maybe 1 or a few experiences with that person?
Do we ever stop to think why we are experiencing what we are seeing? Maybe ask the questions as to how that person came to be how they are? Or what in myself is being triggered by this behaviour?
Most don't have the time, desire or inclination to even bother to investigate, it pushes their buttons and they judge and run or attack and project - even when they have a connection to that person... some of the most conscious people can't find the words or invest the time and energy to support the growth of others in their realm!
A simple, well thought out sentence or conversation can change lives...so many are struggling, why not spend some time with those who just need some insight and reflection into what may be not working for them.?
Judgement can feel final, we are making a decision and it is harsh! Judgement can create contraction in ourselves and in our relationships, particularly when it arises from fear, defensiveness or our own unresolved wounds. We need to feel safe in our relationships so as soon as we experience something that wavers us away from that, our judgement kicks in and the results can be painful & unproductive for all involved.
For those few who have the tools to work with it, the experience can be the greatest gift we are given... an opportunity for growth and expansion but the key to this is communication!
Sometimes judgement is discussed everywhere except with the person involved. While direct communication isn't appropriate or safe in every situation, when there is an established relationship and willingness on both sides, a thoughtful conversation can create greater understanding. Alternatively it can manifest into anger and projection, also extremely low vibrations. On the other hand, those being judged can become defensive and may feel attacked then subsequently shut down, also non-productive and without resolution.
Wouldn't it be more productive for all to practice Discernment
The feeling of discernment is softer, it is full of possibilities. It does not shut the door on behaviour we don't understand, it allows a safe platform from which to communicate and is gentle enough to support growth and expansion in the relationship, whatever that may be. It also allows us to feel secure enough within ourselves to witness something in another without immediately needing to react, correct or condemn. When appropriate — and when it is welcome — we may choose to communicate what we're experiencing.
Discernment and judgement are not the same. We can discern that an associate, friend, relationship or situation is not right for us and choose how — or whether — we communicate that. Discernment doesn't require us to condemn another person; sometimes it invites conversation, and sometimes it asks us to honour a boundary and step away.
Just maybe with discernment, some love and some carefully chosen words they be able to see their behaviour and make the changes necessary for wholeness or we could achieve a greater insight into our own triggers and wounds.
We are so quick to dismiss when the behaviour of others does not resonate with us but there are some people who truly are in service that see, that care enough to share what they witness and provide the rainbow bridge to that person's wellbeing and happiness...
What is most interesting is to witness even those in service being persecuted! Their purpose is to help others yet, the more they create change, the more they are torn down.
Do not allow the poor communication skills & wounded programs of others to arrest your path, if you have been judged and are questioning yourself, practice discernment back, feel it in your being as an opportunity to grow and work with it!
If you are operating with good intent, have an offering that helps others feel better or are contributing to your community or even the greater world then keep going! None of us are perfect, we are all learning and will not always get it right but we are here to grow and mostly that only happens through adversity! Adversity is our friend and our greatest teacher!
Be grateful for it, hold your inner child close and flip the script on "not being good enough" or "being afraid".
Be a warrior of the light and DO YOUR THANG!!
Drop the judgement of yourself first! Practice discernment and start raising the vibration of how we process without affecting the hearts of others!
Perhaps discernment begins with turning the questions gently towards ourselves.
What am I feeling?
What is being triggered within me?
Is this judgement or discernment?
Is there something here for me to learn?
Do I need to communicate, set a boundary or simply let go?
When we become quieter within ourselves, there is more space to hear what is true for us without needing to make another person wrong.
This continues to be one of my practices — to drop judgement, deepen discernment and remain open to what an experience may be here to teach me. What will your practice be?
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